I guess the basic idea of any religion
is to give you some hold and support.
And there is no shame in it.
The ridged structures of some of religions are part
of the idea, glued together by guilt trips.
Most people in this world are creating rules around
them either through religion, traditions or in their
careers.
It is very reassuring to know what is probably going
to happen next or even better, having somebody to
tell you what you have to do next.
You are less likely to screw up that way. Less likely
to end up in an unfamiliar and uncomfortable environment.
It is easier to navigate within a perimeter, a narrow
margin of errors.
You want to be part of a group, of people who think
like you, to guide you.
Those groups need rules and structures that differentiate
them from other groups. Within each group you remove
anything which might upset the harmony like for example
the vagina of your preteen daughter or the foreskin
of your son, depending on what trip your on.
Those rules become undisputable and people get really
upset when you fuck around with their rules and beliefs.
Question, poke, seek and analyze.
True artists don't follow rules and more importantly
they don't believe.
And if you don't believe, you therefore question.
That is the basis of creativity.
The moment you question you automatically created
the idea of an alternative. That alternative might
not be apparent and it might take time to find it
but you have created it
Coincidentally that way of thinking is also one of
the basic ideas of science.
It is no coincident therefore how science became an
alternative for religion in many western cultures,
just to be turned into a new form of religion again.
People believe whatever those scientist whip up and
aren't even suspicious when after two years the exact
opposite has been proven all over again.
If you doubt, then you can't believe. Don't accept
any belief or tradition however ancient or common
without questioning it.
I admit it is not easy to do.
It takes a lot of discipline, courage and confidence
to defy all rules.
It is like constantly walking on a steel floor covered
with glass marbles.
I understand why nobody wants to do that. But it is
not about wanting, it is about having no choice. Once
you have understood you can't re-virginize yourself
again. So you better learn how to deal with it.
Once you get really good at it you wouldn't want to
have it any other way.
Having learned to ride a bike without supporters you
will never put them on again.
You can't be both, an artist and a believer.
As an artist you have to recognize and then skillfully
avoid beliefs.
That, of course will make you an outsider.
The perpetual outsider can never be part of a group
and follow their rules.
You become the casual observer for whom TV evangelists
are as alien as the removal of little girl's vaginas.
But that is their spiel. Go ahead and do what you
have to do.
The only problem I have is when zealots start fucking
with my perimeter.
If I can't masturbate the way I want because pornography
is illegal or if they force me to wear a burka. That
irritates me.
People with principles and who base their lifes on
rules don't have any fantasy.
And that's totally against my fantasy.
Date:
Exhibit #
Title:
January
26, 2004
040126 Health
Advisory
click on the picture
to enlarge
This is the only safe way to suck on a hooker.
Sorry, I mend Hookah.
I have no idea where I got those from.
Probably found them on the net about 6 or 7 years
ago.
If anybody knows who wrote them please let me know
so I can give credit.
Original there were only 50. The last 11 were written
by the most talented writer I know : Christian "Highpressure"
Zoller
61
Fun Things to Do in an Elevator
1.
Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and
offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other
passengers.
3. Grimace painfully
while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut
up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first
seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway
side to side at the natural frequency ofthe elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase
or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got
enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to
everyone getting on the elevator. Wearyours upside-
down.
10. Stand silent and
motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without
getting off.
11. When arriving at
your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open,
then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another
passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting
on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them
to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor,
hold the door open and demand that it stay open until
you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink"
at the bottom
16. Do Tai Chi exercises
17. Stare, grinning,
at another passenger for a while, and then announce:
"I've got new socks on!"
18. When at least 8 people
have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now,
damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts
to each passenger.
20. Meow occassionally.
21. Bet the other passengers
you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter
"gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
23. Show other passengers
a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had
a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes
away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler
that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another
passenger for a while, then announce "You're
one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the
elevator.
28. Burp, and then say
"mmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave a box between
the doors.
30. Ask each passenger
getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on
your hand and talk to other passengers "through"
it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator
is silent, look around and ask "is that your
beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say "Ding!"
at each floor.
37. Lean against the
button panel.
38. Say "I wonder
what all these do" and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator
walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square
on the floor with chalk and announce to the other
passengers that this is your "personal space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a
sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see
wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out
of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic
voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and
clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises
when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray
Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb
and say "I think it's getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes
against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
51.
Put 1,000 toothpicks in your mouth and act
as if nothing happened.
52. Greet everybody coming
into the elevator and give him a salami.
53. Fart very loudly,
inhale deeply and say: "smells like horse pee"
54. Rub yourself intensly
on elder men.
55. Dress like a rabbit
56. Tell everybody that
your father always forced you to eat the fat on the
meat and that's why you are on hooked drugs.
57. When the elevator
is full scream : I am Julius Cesar and you are my
army".
58. Try to scratch your
knee by inserting your arm up your trousers' leg
59. Whistle a beautiful
melody while you clean a gun.
60. Force the mouth open
of the guy next to you and shout as loud as you can
: "Show me your teeth."
61. Bring a coffin.
Date:
Exhibit #
Title:
January
23, 2004
040123 The
Mars Surface
Unfortunate
choices of masturbation hiding places # 6
click on the picture
to enlarge
Nasa is working on a sperm bank on Mars for future
colonizer's use.
Those guys came up with a cool idea.
The Big Blog Show
The internet's first reality blog.
Whatever you do it's time to pay attention to reality
TV. It is our future. We have opened a can of worms.
Acting used to be a craft that acted in a way that
it was very obvious that it was not supposed to look
real.
People got used to watch actors behaving in a certain
way and didn't want it any different. Look at silent
movies or foreign movies like from Bollywood.
But because of the heavy use of widely available video
cameras people got used to people not acting or acting
naturally on videos and TV screens.
The movie industry and especially sitcoms had no choice
to pick it up because normal acting, which we know
from the last millennium wasn't convincing anymore.
Blogs are in a way already realty internet. those
guys bring a step further.
We are not sex tourists.
We are permanent sex residents.
