The new business is not over yet.
It actually just got started.
The pace is accelerating.
Everything is moving towards real time.
You will have to keep up
in order to be able to communicate
But you can erect havens
of tranquility and laughter within the madness.
Date:
Exhibit #
Title:
May
27, 2004
040527 Aaron
Calhoun and the Dynamic Duo
click on the picture
to enlarge
I've got this recently in my mail:
Aaron Calhoun and the Dynamic Duo
at the Champs Bar, Wanchai
"At the live Hong Kong shows expect to hear
unreleased songs ranging from bossa nova to others
reminiscent of the early Fab Four. Don't try to pigeon
hole this guy's music - not only will you hurt yourself,
but you'd have an easier time finishing up Einstein's
work on a unified field theory. Leave it at this:
Songs that are built to last. Catchy melodies, thoughtful
arrangements and great vocals. "
With every passing moment
with every thought
to the rhythm of soul music
I realized that
becoming an artist
was the damn smartest thing
you did in a long time
and you did some
really smart shit.
Date:
Exhibit #
Title:
May 24,
2004
040524 Unfortunate Choices of Masturbation
Hiding Places - Quiapo
click on the picture
to enlarge
Of all the unfortunate masturbation hiding places
I have visited and documented, Quiapo ranks probably
right at the top of most unfortunate. There are just
so damned many people. Not only are privacy issues
a problem, I also got my cel phone pick pocketed.
Things like that can have a negative influence on
your concentration.
Art is conceptual
The importance of craftsmanship is deteriorating.
Art moves towards writing.
Art will become computer generated.
Your wall cover, which is a giant hi-res screen, constantly
changes.
The value of art is moving from exclusivity, from
being the only one who has it to being the first one
to have it.
Like cell phones. First it was a status symbol just
to have one. Today everybody has one and you differentiate
by having the newest model before your peers get their
greedy hands on it.
I get my wall entertainment from Instant-Art.tv, the
fastest changing art-network in the world.
It's quite exclusive though.
I can't come up with any reason why certain artworks
should ever lose some of their value.
It's not like in business where a bunch of crooks
and assholes can fuck up the companies and the investments
of thousands of people.
All it take is one guy's crazy ideas.
Once those ideas happen and have been manifested they
can't be taken away.
What is the worst that could happen to such an investment?
The artist is being caught fucking little boys.
No big deal, doesn't everybody?
He was caught in a public toilet for masturbating.
George Michael is still famous.
He was caught lying to his collectors.
All the politicians do it all the time.
Once you get caught, you wiggle yourself out of it,
lay low for a while and come back as if nothing happened.
The artist dies.
Jackpot for everyone except the artist of course.
He retires
Good, fewer artworks = more value.
He gets crazy.
Nearly as good as dying.
The only thing I can see is that the artwork gets
destroyed in a fire.
But there is insurance for that.
The worst thing that can happen is that civilization
as a whole is losing interest in (decorative) art.
Date:
Exhibit #
Title:
May 22,
2004
040522 IFC Tower
click on the picture
to enlarge
I showed somebody my camera and she fucked around
with the setting without me noticing.
That's how I ended up with a dramatic black and white
shot of the IFC tower in Hong Kong.
According to my nurse it is ok to masturbate a couple
of times a day.
It's only when you start buying yourself ladies drinks
that might get a little weird.
Date:
Exhibit #
Title:
May 20,
2004
040520 No Flaming
click on the picture
to enlarge
The authorities in Hong Kong are very concerned about
proper homosexual behavior. Excessive gayety and shameless
flaming can not be tolerated under no circumstances.
Of course anything that might make the floor wet is
totally out of question.
Date:
Exhibit #
Title:
May
19, 2004
040519 Tin
Hau Festival
Lamma Island, Hong Kong
California's government failed to pass, by a narrow
margin, a legislature restricting severely the use
of canine tongues as the means of sexual arousal.
Some more
insects and flowers from Lamma Island, Hong Kong.
This is what I do when I want to relax.
I grab my camera and go out onto the hills and shoot
insects and flowers.
These pictures are the result of two hours shooting
over a 50 m stretch of walk way.
Lamma Island must have the biggest diversity insects
in the world. Imagine how many pictures of different
insects I could take if I would do this systematically
for a couple of weeks.
Even at this session I saw about four times as many
insects as I could shoot. Many of them beetles, butterflies
and wasps flying too high or too fast for me to catch.
And then there are all the nocturnal insects like
many beetles, stick insects, roaches and moths.
A rough-looking girl walked towards me and indicated
that I should lend her my ball pen.
I handed it to her and she started to write on her
palm.
Once done, she twisted her body so she could hold
her palm close to my face.
It said : "give me twenty Pesos to buy some food".
I took the pen out of her hand and wrote underneath
it: "Would you settle for 10?"
She gave me a thumbs-up sign and I gave it to her.
Date:
Exhibit #
Title:
May
12, 2004
040512 MOONLIGHTING
the very prestigious Stick Insect Hunter Moon Award
click on the picture
to enlarge
This weeks special goes to : Heckle and Jeckle
for the hilariously funny comedy night on Thursday 15th
of April 2004, featuring Phil Nichol (Canada) and
Silky (England)
If you have a party or a great party place you want me to
check out, send me an email :
you-can-look-b@dont-touch-my.com (open bar is compulsory)
Date:
Exhibit #
Title:
May 9,
2004
040509 ASSIH - A Newspaper Dude
Hi, I am the Aggressively Shy Stick Insect Hunter.
I write, paint and take photos to amuse myself. But
I am not a selfish person. I want to share my profound
insights with you and the world.
The Inquirer was careless enough to provide me with
an opportunity to do so. I am glad that they did though.
For a while I was getting worried. First Manual magazine
offered me to write for them and then Urge Magazine.
Luckily then came the Inquirer and not Bare or Skin
magazine. That would have indicated a trend towards
a pre-occupation for self-gratificational habits.
I am an artist by trade and my philosophy is that
everything becomes art as long as you do it nonchalantly.
I mastered the art of finding my ass again in the
morning after I partied it off the night before. I
guess I qualify as a partist.
Update:
The ASSIH is not a newspaper dude anymore for the
time being.
(He still is a magazine dude though)
Although considered artistic, the main editors felt
that I would be more suited for a niche market publications
like for example : "The Hairy Housewife Almanac".
or "Writing Poems on Rice Corns, Masturbation
and other Japanese Miniature Arts."
The Aggressively
Shy Stick Insecy Hunter is a newspaper dude now. Starting
today, you can read my incredible creative profanities
every Saturday in the Philippine
Daily Inquirer, the largest newspaper in the Philippines.
My ass goes nationwide, oh yeahhh.
This
is a WARNING
The SEARCH for unbroken ground is never an easy one,
and rarely is it even a pretty one. Often pushing
the envelope means we have to suffer a few perspective
papercuts in the process. But with a specimen such
as Andy Maluche, we at Super!
at INQUIRER
had little choice but to feature this vagabond of
the visual vices.
The following showcases his unique photographs and
philosophies. Some material may offend those faint
at heart, but then again, that's the point of art,
isn't it? Welcome to Andy Land, fasten your seatbelts,
say your prayers, and kiss your pre-conceptions goodbye.
You have been WARNED.
Date:
Exhibit #
Title:
May
6, 2004
040506 Sunset
by the River
click on the picture
to enlarge
When I go to my place to chill in Bobon, Northern
Samar, Philippines I like to sit at the river, watch
the sunset and suck on a few beers.
I am I weird that way?
