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Hi, I am the Aggressively
Shy Stick Insect Hunter.
I write, paint and take photos to amuse myself. But I am not a selfish
person. I want to share my profound insights with you and the world.
The Inquirer was careless enough to provide me with an opportunity
to do so. I am glad that they did though. For a while I was getting
worried. First Manual magazine offered me to write for them and
then Urge Magazine. Luckily then came the Inquirer and not Bare
or Skin magazine. That would have indicated a trend towards a pre-occupation
for self-gratificational habits. I am an artist by trade and my
philosophy is that everything becomes art as long as you do it nonchalantly.
I mastered the art of finding my ass again in the morning after
I partied it off the night before. I guess I qualify as a partist.
Let me explain a little
about the stuff I am going to hit you with.
Moonlighting,
the extremely prestigious Shy Stick Insect Hunter Moon Award
On my quest to party my way through life, freeloading wherever I
can,
I, the Aggressively Shy Stick Insect Hunter shied no pain to scout,
on your behalf, for the best party spots in town. Of those only
the best of the best are good enough to receive the extremely prestigious
Shy Stick Insect Hunter Moon Award.
It all started when I
got into the habit of taking pictures of my ass at the end of a
great party just to check if I partied my ass off already or if
it is still there. I also tattooed my logo on my ass to make sure
it's really MY ass I am hauling home.
If you have a party or a great party place you want me to check
out, send me an email : you-can-look-b@dont-touch-my.com" (open
bar is compulsory)
Warning, anything you say or do can and will be published.
Notes
that I usually find in the back pocket of my jeans.
Every time I go out for some blues, beer and billiards, I note down
thoughts that hit me between the 4th and the 7th beer.
The next morning I usually find small pieces of yellow pad or crumpled
napkins in the back pockets of my jeans. Then begins the tedious
task of trying to figure out what they’re supposed to mean.
Many are almost unreadable therefore I started using subtitles but
being able to decipher them doesn't guarantee that they make any
sense.
These are words of wisdom, which usually sound a lot deeper when
I conceive them than when I am sober.
Have you ever been caught
masturbating behind the kitchen door?
No? Well, it is a great spot. There are other less ideal places
though. I compiled a whole bunch of them for your benefit. I don't
want you to get caught in a compromising situation. By all means
please avoid all of those: Unfortunate
Choices Of Masturbation Hiding Places.
After reading through
this page I am certain you will have some questions you might want
to ask me.
A few of them I can answer straight away: "No I didn't have
a difficult childhood, yes I do drink a lot, no I don't have any
problems with my sexual orientation and yes, I am assuming that
I am from this planet."
For any other question you might have please send them to me via
email:
"you-can-look-b@dont-touch-my.com" or post them on my
bulletin board :
"http://www.dont-touch-my.com/ask".
I promise I will answer every question on my bulletin board and
the best ones will get published here under the : "Ask
the Aggressively Shy Stick Insect Hunter" section.
Ask anything, really (I mean it).
Please email me as well
for any suggestions, advice and personal insults.
I just looove getting emails which never fail to fuel the kiln of
creativity that rages within my slightly demented brain.
And also please remember, don't take drugs, give them to me instead.
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yesterday
