1) Artists have to be vain, sensitive,
drunkards, horny and constantly insulted.
2) Bore the public beyond tolerance with your personal neuroses
and then package those in incomprehensible designs.
3) Make sure you'll match current curtain designs. If that's
beneath you stick to saints.
4) Be a self-centered, easily irritable spoiled brat. It takes
a certain amount of being spoiled to be able to take an every
day kind of problem and spiral it up to creative inspiration.
5) Don't do computer art because that's exactly what they would
6) Confuse your own complex, personal problems with a complex
mind and tell everybody about it.
7) Develop your own peculiar style so nobody can compare or
judge your works. If you can't convince - confuse.
8) Once you sold an artwork don't change your style anymore
for the rest of your life. Better yet, do the same artwork over
and over again.
9) Include hints of your up-coming exhibition in every conversation.
10) Be serious. Art is no fun.
11) Behave strange and talk even weirder. People will think
you are very deep.
12) Visit every vernissage so that you will get exposed, ...especially
to free food and beer.
13) Once you finished an artwork, try to find out what it could
mean. Somebody might ask.
14) Do a wise career move and everyone a favor - die young.