Tree Huggin'
German Insects & Flowers

14 commandments of how to become an artist :


To be an artist is just a decision. But please keep in mind, not being an artist is also just a decision.


Go ahead and stick your head in a horse. It is a lot less painful than to be an artist, especially for everyone else.

1) Artists have to be vain, sensitive, drunkards, horny and constantly insulted.

2) Bore the public beyond tolerance with your personal neuroses and then package those in incomprehensible designs.

3) Make sure you'll match current curtain designs. If that's beneath you stick to saints.

4) Be a self-centered, easily irritable spoiled brat. It takes a certain amount of being spoiled to be able to take an every day kind of problem and spiral it up to creative inspiration.

5) Don't do computer art because that's exactly what they would expect.

6) Confuse your own complex, personal problems with a complex mind and tell everybody about it.

7) Develop your own peculiar style so nobody can compare or judge your works. If you can't convince - confuse.

8) Once you sold an artwork don't change your style anymore for the rest of your life. Better yet, do the same artwork over and over again.

9) Include hints of your up-coming exhibition in every conversation.

10) Be serious. Art is no fun.

11) Behave strange and talk even weirder. People will think you are very deep.

12) Visit every vernissage so that you will get exposed, ...especially to free food and beer.

13) Once you finished an artwork, try to find out what it could mean. Somebody might ask.

14) Do a wise career move and everyone a favor - die young.

Text by Andy "The Angry Artist" Maluche
Edited by Rachel "Bunny" Mayo



The Art of Andy Maluche - copyright

All pictures and text can be reproduced for any noncommercial purpose.