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Schwag
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Creating at least one artwork a day is my attempt to stay sane.
As an artist you are caught in a curious paradox.
You have to constantly un-sane yourself from what normal people consider sane, which in my opinion has nothing to do with sanity.
But still you have to produce to keep your sanity.


The only way to become a respectable person is not to allow anybody to regard you as anything else.


If something is being created with a concept other than to sell it is art. If it is created for its looks' it is design.


If you are a caterpillar and you happen to pass by one of your favored leaves, I bet you have some really weird juices building up in your eating apparatus.


Did it ever happen to you in the middle of the night, you have been drooling all over your pillow while sleeping and it stank so bad that you actually woke up?


Stick Insects can spend a whole day sitting on some branch without moving. I wonder what they are thinking when they do that.


The beer belly is the place where men store the energy they need to look good.


Don't try to understand art.
It doesn't help you in any way if you do.


Of course you could do something over and over again until you get really good at it, but guys like that don't get laid much.


It really hurts.
It hurts like when you wash your face in the morning and your pinky gets stuck in one of your nostrils.
I hate that when it happens.


I was sitting next to a guy who looked like as if he just found out that he was engaged with a transvestite for a week and didn't know it.
Actually that was exactly what happened


Emotionless, stone faces my ass.
Those Japanese blew their cover with Pokemon.


You are getting old when you start choosing your massage girl for her skills and not for her looks.


People are insecure and they love anything associated with being insecure.
But they'll do anything for the bold.


Relax to stupidity and ugliness.
It is abandoned.
It is the norm.
And you can handle it.
Don't condemn it.


I am a non-practicing vegetarian.


Sometimes you need a vacation from choice.
How nice it is to relax and settle for a while in the rigid
traditions of mankind and let yourself flow.


You become an artist if you have the urge to communicate but
you don't want to socialize.


It is not that I don't like women.
I just don't want to have to go through all that dating bullshit.
Laying in bed and being seduced by a lustful young lady is perfectly fine with me.


Artworks are never finished.
They are abandoned because of laziness or the lack of interest.


The other great thing about being a famous artist is that you can legally paint nudes of teenage girls.


Whenever I encounter a pretty salesclerk in a convenience store,
I buy 4 packs of extra large condoms.
When she brings them out I say: "You know what, it is still early tonight make it 5 packs."


Keep reminding yourself not to mind. The ability to communicate and to produce is proof of sanity.
As an artist you produce communication.
You should be basically alright.
Communication has to be going both ways.


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The Art of Andy Maluche - copyright

All pictures and text can be reproduced for any noncommercial purpose.