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Schwag
Venice
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German Insects & Flowers
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Based on statistical research and hindsight, it seems the sentence: "Go ahead, why don't you shoot me" don't seem to be the right thing to say for persons who would like to live to a ripe old age.


Don't worry it's not real. It's just a concept.


Once you understand,
there is no more choice.
You can't settle for the second best without cheating yourself.
You might produce mediocrity because of ignorance but not purposely.


Live your life like a movie director.
Stage your surroundings and plan your scenes.
Make sure not to bore the audience and please the producer
which is you.


When I was little
I always thought that song was sang by my aunt.
I was terribly proud of my aunt.
Then I realized that it wasn't really a song and that lady wasn't really my aunt
but I was still proud of her.


Once I got to know myself I realized I am not such a bad guy.


So I wanted to get in touch with my female side but my female side told me that if I touch her one more time she's going to sue the hell out of me.


You should try each day to do something that other people only DREAM about their whole lives. Preferably before breakfast.


Not that it wasn't a great idea but for some reason his website: “Old men with shriveled penises” didn't click.


The first thing I would do as a dictator is to make figure skating illegal and throw all the skaters into the dungeon where I will torture them a little.


If you want to go into business
sell something that makes people
who spend other people's money,
look good.


What did little boys get excited about before there were balls?


If you want to be successful in art you'll have to produce art that doesn't force people to participate, interact or think.


On offices: I guess it is time to go.
I squeezed all the fun out that I possibly could of watching people work.


My life is one big exciting "waiting for that family size pizza with extra anchovies."


I think it is childish to grow up.



People don't offer you boring and or stupid jobs if you have a name card with your ass on it.


I think I know what you want and I think I can get you there and maybe a little further.


Art is not dead, it just smells funny.
Art in itself as an isolated elitist form of communication that has lost it's significance.
Art creeps into every orifice of daily life.
To be good in anything you do you have to be a great artist, a cunning philosopher and a good dancer. (actor)


who are you?

Artist, comedian and playful entertainer of the masses and of the chosen few.
Finder of truth.
Not the common truth.
Just a small, cuddly, personal truth which allows you to view
new angles and different perspectives
so you can mirror them back to society
with your own magical post-processing apparatus
packaged into bit sized pieces
easily digested by the less fortunate ones.


The amount of success you will have depends on how often you make decisions which result in your advantage.


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The Art of Andy Maluche - copyright

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