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You will be remembered for one thing and for one thing only.
So better work on one thing and make sure that it is the best you can do.
And since you don't know what your "one thing" will be, work on many successive ones.


You have to compete so you can measure yourself.
It would be just too easy to assume that you are getting better.
It also helps you a lot to communicate which proves your sanity.
That is the real pleasure behind feat back on your art, not insecurity.


Be wary of people who warn you that you are being taken advantage of by other people.
They probably think you are a dimwit.


Assuming you really have any talent you better manifest it in that one big thing.


But, creativity is all that is left.


There are two choices left in life:
Stand-up comedy or
runaway drama


Hey, when I said that I was a stand-up comedian,
I was only kidding


The geeks thought it was their century.
Well suckers, you are wrong.
You got bold because the assholes needed you.


Try to be as stoic as you can. It highlights any emotion you can come up with.


You can't give somebody more attention than saying: "hey, listen let's talk about that when I am sober."


There must be a more user-friendly word than : “Vagina”


My dilemma is that I can only execute when I am sober.
But when I am sober everything appears to be equally stupid.


My life is punctured with missed opportunities but nicely decorated with moments when I reacted in time.


It is amazing the kind of weird shit people come up with when they have too much time and an outlet for communication.


What else is an artist than an exhibitionist who uses his audience like a psychiatrist.


Do we really need to know every little thing about ourselves?
Isn't it better to leave some things untouched?
leave a little mystery
to surprise ourselves now and then?
We certainly would have more fun that way?


You are getting much more reponse with a friendly word and a finger up the butt than with a friendly word alone.


Sometimes I wish I would be the alpha male of a herd of baboons.
Not only would I always get the best food,
I also could fuck whomever I damned please
- anytime.


There is something wrong with my memory
but I forgot what it was.


I am not really crazy just a little shy.


Even the craziest things become normal once repeated often enough.


I practice consumption management these days.
Now I am drinking only if I really want.
I even got myself a personal consumption manager
but he is quite lenient otherwise he would get fired right away.


I think prenuptial agreements should include a maximum weight gain of 15 % for women and a trade-in option.


My art is the documentation of events or ideas in a particular style.
Enthusiasm: let's turn an event into an idea and that idea has to keep me excited long enough so I can turn it into a work of art, long enough for me to apply good craftsmanship.
Sometimes there just isn't enough excitement to go beyond the idea, the sketch or a model.
That would then rest for some time, stashed away.
Now and then I stumble over it and flickers of the original rush come back.
Then I have to decide if the idea is worth spending a lot of time on or if I should move on and create something totally new.


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The Art of Andy Maluche - copyright

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