Tree Huggin'
German Insects & Flowers
page 4
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...and it got worse, her real name was:
José .

So, do you come here to play pool?
Naww, I just have a short break from all the fun I am having during the rest of the day.

Isn't it funny that having fun usually demands a change of the normal lifestyle or habit.
People don't have fun as a norm.
Like you say: "Come on, let's have some fun."
I guess they lock you up if you do have fun as a norm.
Sometimes I get worried about the amount of fun I am having.
Actually I should get worried about the lack of fun other people are having.

Life is beautiful if you always have an alternative ready.

Sometimes I wish I could make love as well and as long as I can play billiard.

I started to work simultaneously on several apparently unconnected ideas.
The more I work on each, the more they start to merge and overlap without me actually trying.
That can only mean two things: either I am very consistent in what I am doing or I masturbate too much.

We train with the ugly ones.

The only way to relax is not to give a shit about anything anybody might have a problem with.

I thought I finally grew up.
Then I realized I was just constipated.

Of all the favored dreams I have, I like the one with the young daughters of the indigenous headman and those curious “de-virginizing” ceremonies, best.

How come that mosquito suck and it doesn't feel good?
Because they suck?

Here is my list of masturbational books which I highly recommend.

The One Minute Masturbator

How To Make The Best Out Of Your Morning Hard on

The Idiot's Guide To Jerking off

The Wank And Other Fancy European Techniques

You Can Do it, Everybody Does It

Strangling the Snake: Ancient Chinese Masturbation Rites

Lonely Planet's Wanking on a budget

Athony Robbins - True, Mine Is Enormous But You Can Have Just As Much Fun

Writing poems on rice corns, masturbation other Japanese miniature arts.
(not a very large book though)

21 Sure Steps To Shoot Your Wad

Onanism In The White House

Making Friends By Slapping Your Peter

You can't make jokes about Jews unless you are Jewish.
You can't call someone a nigger unless you are black yourself.
If you are on the other hand a one-eyed, black, Jewish gay guy who lost a relative in 9/11, you can make jokes about anything you please.

To be an artist means to take the bull by the horns,
Be young again and disregard all things that fuck you up.

A rough-looking girl walked towards me and indicated that I should lend her my ball pen.
I handed it to her and she started to write on her palm.
Once done, she twisted her body so she could hold her palm close to my face.
It said : "give me twenty Pesos to buy some food".
I took the pen out of her hand and wrote underneath it: "Would you settle for 10?"
She gave me a thumbs-up sign and I gave it to her.

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